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If you’re reading this, you might be asking yourself: how do I get over a breakup? I’ll be 100% honest with you – there’s no easy secret to painless & quick breakups. And anything you do that feels like one is just numbing out your emotions, not healing them. Which is ok sometimes in moderation, but as you have probably figured out by now, not a lasting fix. So here’s 4 things you need to know if you just broke up.

Cut the cord. Just stop talking to them now. No more innocent texts, no more post-breakup hooking up, no more social media stalking. Cut.them.out. Maybe you can “just be friends” in the distant future but for right now, you need to completely cut this person out of your life, for realsies. Let’s face it, if you are at the stage where you are reading a blog post about getting over a breakup, you aren’t emotionally in a place where you can FB stalk or “just talk” to this person in a healthy way that makes you feel good. Just don’t do it. Ask a friend to help keep you accountable if necessary.

Feel those feels. You’re going to be so sad. Or maybe so angry. Or maybe relieved. Possibly all three. This is ok. Let yourself feel what you are feeling. Name what you’re feeling, do some journaling, listen to songs that make you cry or watch a sad movie while you take a long bath and sob. Punch a pillow. Go to a private and soundproof-ish place (like maybe your car) and scream. Smile and laugh. There is no wrong feeling to feel, just let it happen and play it out in a way that isn’t harmful to yourself or someone else. p.s. it’s totally ok to fantasize about keying their car, but let’s not do it, ok?

Get busy. It’s also ok to distract yourself. Hang out with friends you haven’t seen in awhile, go to that new restaurant you have been wanting to try, take a vacation with your best buds, try a new workout class. Start a blog or novel, pick up some supplies and start crafting or painting, redecorate your room, cook your way through a cookbook. Basically, try new stuff. Do stuff you love doing. It’s ok to do things that make you happy, even when you’re grieving the loss of a relationship.

Learn. When you get a little space from the initial hurt and can look at the situation more objectively, ask yourself some questions. What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about relationships and what you want from relationships? What did you learn about what you love and don’t love in a partner? What are dealbreakers for you? What can you do differently/better in your next relationship? Digest everything you can.

Ok my friend, hang in there. Breakups can be awful. It gets better.

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